I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
only you would photoshop your dick
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize