Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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