TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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