woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm always down for nudity.
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