I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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