Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
