in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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