I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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