"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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