Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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