The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
