This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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