dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
