I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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