Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
