I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
