She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
