next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
