So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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