The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
