Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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