So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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