If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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