I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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