finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
