Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
