Can i not drive my cunt home
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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