if you like me you must not know who I am
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
