I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
