He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
