Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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