Soap is not a condiment
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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