I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
