Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
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I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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