why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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