I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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