Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
