I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
