He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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