is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize