remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
