The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
