we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
