playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
