I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
