Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
