I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
