Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize