That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
