Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
