I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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