i think my tv is drunk
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
