Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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