You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
