tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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