what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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